Microwaved Meat
by TessaPanda
Summary: Dina and Amy have a drunken night of new experiences. Some horrific, some wondrous.


Amy's meat looked horrific, and Dina felt sick.

A knot formed in her stomach, and Dina looked everywhere but the chicken. There was an unspoken agreement among the party goers that it was gross, probably raw. They weren't bothering to hide it on their faces. Even nice ol' Glenn. Being vegan aside, Dina was disgusted. She'd rather have sex with Elias than to eat that poor... innocent... dead chicken. Everyone cringed as Amy took a small bit and tried to hide her disgust. "Mmm... that sauce is good... the more you chew, the, uh, better it gets." She swallowed, forcing the wet flesh down her throat. A nervous chuckle emanated from the small woman.

"Anybody want any meat? Nobody? Really? Nobody?" Looking desperate, Amy glanced around. Dina had her teeth bared in a half nervous smile, half grimace of utter pain. She quickly looked away from Amy. "Nobody wants meat?" She had such a pitiful look on her face, that Dina felt sympathy for her friend.

Not empathy! It was not an emotion Dina had ever felt. Especially not in this time. Hell no, Dina would never put herself in a pathetic position such as this, and she especially wouldn't cook birds! Dina was actually an excellent chef, or so she said.

But Amy... Dina groaned in her head. She just couldn't let Amy look this bad any longer. 'You beautiful, sad, poor, crumbling woman.' Dina thought in her head. In a somewhat too loud voice, she exclaimed, "I'll take some!" Sweating pooling on her forehead.

Mateo's eyes widened and he raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you a vegan?" He asked, tilting his head in disbelief.

Dina smiled with her lips tight, shaking her head. "Uh, yah, just for like...20 years."

She just grinned, which looked very forced. "Ha! But when I see meat that looks that delicious, I have to make an exception!" She laughed painfully and grabbed a drumstick.

"No, Dina, you don't have to eat that." The latina woman cringed and bit her lip as she tried to let the vegan woman off the hook.

Dina shook her head, squeaking under her breath that it was fine. Even though it wasn't. But it was love for Amy that drove her forward. She held it up to her face, chuckling and sweating more. She inspected the leg. "I guess this is what he used to stand on." Her voice raised an octave and it quivered. "Th-they just took off the little foot!" For Dina, this was like eating that foot found in the parking lot. She took a deep breath, moving it to her face.

"I'm going to eat a bird now."

"I'm going to eat a bird now."

"I'm gonna-"

Dina bit into the unusually wet and rubbery meat. "Uh-" She held down a gag. Everyone else went 'ooh' and cringed, recoiling a bit from hearing the juicy _squish._ Meat should never be microwaved. "Wow! But was it worth it for that taste!" She exclaimed with a mouthful. She laughed, having a mental breakdown. She was now laughing and crying. Then just crying. "Yum!"

She ran off to the bathroom, she was sure she was going to vomit. Dina acted like she was fine, but everyone knew she was not. Dina was physically sick now... but it was for a good cause. She cared about Amy a lot. They had been working together for a long time, but she had never began to feel anything for Amy until the day the hung out at the shooting range. That was a day that she realized Amy was kinda cool. Then she got to vent all her feelings and woes, literally all, to Amy after the tornado affected her. Besides the failure that was her crush on Jonah, Amy was the first time Dina had actually had romantic feelings.

* * *

Dina had just got out of the shower-her reason was she could smell the death on her-when she heard Amy yell. "YAS!" She smirked. Dina walked in to see that the tv was on. "Hey, you're still here." She said softly to Dina, looking kinda happy about that fact.

Dina sighed. "Yah." She said, sounding exhausted. She felt a little less sick now. "Trust me, you would not have wanted me to take a bath." Amy raised an eyebrow but did not question it. "Hey, you fixed it!" Dina smiled, elbowing Amy gently. "Look who's crawling out of rock bottom." She chuckled.

Amy sighed, running a hand through her short brown hair. "Hey, thank you for trying to help me today." She smiled, and discreetly put her hand on Dina's. Dina was actually a pretty cool and nice person outside of work. She was just... such a rule follower, and it prevented her from being personable. But today, today was nice.

"It's what I do." Dina played it off as real cool and casual, a smug little smile on her face. Now Amy would have to see her as her best friend, right? "I'm going to need to borrow some bottoms, also some tops." Amy sort of tucked her chin in and scrunched her nose, being slightly weirded out, because Dina was in her robe and asking for her own clothes... but sure. She stood up, Dina following. "Sorry. I just kinda wanna, y'know, burn those clothes in a fiery pit and send them to hell." Dina laughed,cringing too.

Amy pressed her lips in a tight line, shaking her head a bit. "Yah, I totally understand." Even though she didn't. Amy picked out clothes for Dina, and then left her alone to change. Amy's sweatpants were like leggings, and her sweatshirt was like a crop top on Dina due to her large breasts. Dina returned to Amy on the couch. Amy was rendered speechless so she just looked back at the tv. She couldn't deny that Dina looked both awkward and attractive in her clothes.

"Thanks, girl." Dina grinned, sitting down. "Hey, who's gonna drink all that?" She asked, turning around backwards and gesturing with a thumb to the mixed drinks. "I'd love to get the taste of murdered corpse out of my mouth."

Amy cringed a bit at her comment, and then slowly broke out into a grin. "Actually... grab a pitcher _bitch_, we're having our own golden globes party!"

Dina was trying to implement her new favorite phrase into her vocabulary so she cheered, "YAS QUEEN!" And she grabbed a whole pitcher like Amy said to. The women hit their pitchers against each other, saying, "Cheers!" They went back to the couch and each took a huge swig, grinning at each other.

Amy wiped her mouth and smiled, putting it on the Golden Globes Special edition of Fashion Police. They actively watched together, roasting the celebrities, with Dina making derogatory comments about them being sluts and whores, almost every one. She just really didn't like most celebrities. They more the drank and the longer they watched the closer and closer they got to each other. Soon, Dina had an arm around Amy's shoulders and Amy didn't seem bothered by it.

"White or Black or whatever, NO ONE looks good in orange. It's an ugly ass color and makes everyone's skin look nasty.. " Dina fake gagged as she commented on a dress she saw, her words slightly slurring. Amy laughed as if Dina had said the funniest thing. "Except for my Sun Conures, sorry babies!" She leaned her head back and shouted into the hall, as if they could hear her and were here.

"She looks like... a carrot!" Dina now laughed at Amy.

They watched longer, and their alcohol pitches were both about half drank. Janelle Monae and her dress was shown, and Dina did the 'okay' sign with her hand. "Okay, her dresses I always like. She's always on point. Janelle's a _queen_."

Amy sat up urgently, like someone who had just been woken up by her own nightmare. She looked Dina in the eyes and said. "No, Dina, _you're a queen._" Despite her words slurring she sounded dead serious.

"What? Me? No... No, no, you can't be serious!" Dina blushed and shoved Amy, which made Amy fall into a pillow and that made the small Catracha have a fit of giggles.

She sat back up though, putting a hand on Dina's shoulder. "I'm serious Dina, you're a babe!"

Dina got bashful. "Oh, um, wow... Thanks, no one's... ever said that about me before. They just like my sex and nothing else."

"Well they're _wrong. _Wrong idiots. Who?" Amy asked, getting annoyed. "You mean like... Garrett? F**K GARRETT."

Dina laughed and got on board. "Yah! F**k Garrett!"

Amy gasped, as she came up with an amazing idea. "Ooh, Dina, let me curl your hair!" She chirped, sounding like a school girl. "Pleaseeee?" Amy begged, sitting on her knees and bouncing on the couch.

Okay, Amy's face was just adorable right now, so she couldn't say no. "What the hell, go ahead Ames." She smiled at her. Amy squealed and led her off to the bathroom. Dina sat on the closed toilet lid and Amy undid the towel on her head and plugged in her curling iron. They girl talked while Amy curled pieces of Dina's hair; which was basically just bad mouthing store employees. Then when the topic of Jonah came up, they both unleashed their trash talk and ranting about him. A while later they finished.

"Dina you look beautiful, you have to wear it to work." Amy grinned. "Show everyone that you are beautiful." She exclaimed and swung her arms out, knocking over some bottles, she stared at them before shrugging. "Eh, they'll be fine." She slurred.

"Thanks Amy!" The strong woman pulled Amy into a hug that lifted the other's feet off the ground. "Sorry, I'm a hugger." She sat Amy down.

Dina was pretty happy now and they both went back to the couch. They finished off their pitchers as they continued to watch tv. Dina soon asked a question. "Hey Amy, mind if I crash here? I don't think I can take facing my birds tonight."

Amy's voice raised an octave, but happily. "Actually...Sure, Dina, go ahead!" She chirped. "But, um, more importantly you're too drunk too drive."

Dina snorted. "No you're too drunk!" She smirked.

"No you are!" Amy's voice got even higher and she shoved Dina, giggling. "Though, I think I'm going to sleep on the couch too." She said calmly, her head crashing onto Dina's shoulder.

That action made Dina blush. "Oh really?" Dina asked, clearing her throat.

"Mhmm..." She hummed, cozying up next to Dina. "My bed has no sheets now, because y'know, Glenn and Jerusha..." Amy gagged and Dina shuddered. She didn't even want to imagine that. But she kinda could unfortunately. She had seen Glenn's penis and it somewhat but not completely made her uninterested in penises.

Dina turned off the tv and grabbed a blanket that was on the couch and covered herself and sleepy Amy. Sleepy, adorable Amy. Dina tried to go to sleep, but all her drunkenness kept her awake with a burning question. "Amy. Amy." She shook her.

Amy yawned and reopened her eyes. "What?" She asked, tilting her head.

"Amyyyy." Dina was glad it was dark in here because she was blushing. "Have you ever kissed a girl before?" Dina asked.

"Nope." Amy said, popping the p.

"Me neither... Would you ever want to try it?" Dina asked.

Amy seemed to know exactly what Dina was thinking. She leaned in, brushing their lips together lightly. Dina closed the gap. She ran her hands through Amy's hair as she kissed the woman. Amy put her hands on Dina's shoulders, and pushed her down. They continued to kiss for a little longer, Amy's arms wrapped around Dina's neck.

Amy pulled away. Dina panted. She was smiling genuinely, and from the looks of it so was Amy just not as giddily as Dina. "How was that...?" Dina asked.

"Wonderful..." Amy mused.

"It was. I was pretty into it."

"That was like ten times better than any kiss from Adam." Amy said. Dina was impressed by that statement. With her arms still around Dina's neck, Amy fell asleep on her stomach next to Dina. Her head rested on Dina's chest, it made a good pillow. Dina played with Amy's hair. She fell asleep with her heart warm. Maybe it was the Handmaid's Ale talking but for the first time in her life, Dina was actually in love.


End file.
